@tarashoe: gross i hate the word moist! give me a wet cake. give me a wet, damp cupcake
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@AnkCoupleTO: [mall food court] Me: *stomach rumbling* OMG not now Brain: Too bad you hate using public washrooms My White Undies: Sweet baby jesus no
@Dr_awfulpants: [Doctor office] -How are you feeling? -Not good. -Any side effects from the medication? *cries tears of fire* -Now that you mention it...
@omerwahaj: The new iPhone 7 is just a slower, heavier, thicker, and much less attractive version of the iPhone 8.
@Smethanie: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.