@TheBoydP

Guys! Everybody needs to stop Kung Fu fighting. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

You Might Also Like

@Shade510

Daughter: *calling up the steps

Dad you almost ready?…We’re going to be late for my college orientation.

Me: *appears wearing just a toga

All set.

@HaliPhacks

*Puts arm band, white tank top, and fake moustache on cat*

There ya go, Freddie Purr-cury.

@EJGomez

[introducing you to my family]
“this is my son Carson, my daughter Boatdaughter, & our dog Motorcyclepet”

@surrealvehicle

me: i’d like to buy a data storage system

assistant: hard drive

me: yes the freeway was gridlocked

@13spencer

Everybody is a kid of some decade, but “90’s kids” are the only ones who are annoying about it.

@Sakshi9998

game of thrones bt it’s my family fighting over who will sit in grandma’s chair while watching t.v. After she dies.

@brianbowman73

We were watching The Discovery Channel on the couch.

I was naked.

She was afraid.

I guess I should have probably introduced myself first.

@SamuelHLowe

If you’re ever on death row, request Denny’s for your last meal so you can live an extra year waiting on your order.

@EmaSlema

I just saw a guy put a hamburger between 2 pancakes so I proposed on the spot and he just said “no” so he’s obviously the smartest man alive