Dog leader: the catpocalypse has begun
Dog 1: destroy the fluffies
Dog 2: we’ll take ’em down
007: meow. I mean, right on
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When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying
NICE TO MEAT YOU, I scream as I throw slices of salami at strangers
If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
Anyone you can do, I can do better..
Ginny- He always hides from our problems.
Therapist- Is this true?
Harry- *puts on invisibility cloak* No.
Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way.
My 3yo just reminded ME to wash my hands after we got home so if anything good were to come out of this pandemic it’s that we’re raising a less gross genera- ope never mind he just ate a booger
I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you’ve obviously never slept with my sister Ashley.
My GPS thinks we should see other drivers.