her: i like a man with ambitions
me: i am going to kill the moon
her: professional ambitions
me: i am going to kill the moon, for money
You Might Also Like
Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.
Welcome to middle age.
Don’t bother looking at the weather forecast; your joints will let you know when it’s going to rain.
“Turtle Power” is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
Always remember…. A mirror never lies.
Facebook Mom: OMG I can’t believe my kid is a high schooler now
Me: me too, he was quite stupid
Daughter comes home with shirt inside out.
Me: Why is your shirt on wrong?
Daughter: I think you old people call it: “second base”
In my house “no” means keep doing it till mom loses her shit.
Whoever speaks at my funeral will probably just look over at my casket and say “well, she was always kind of like this.”