@3sunzzz

H: I’m going to the store.

M: Why don’t you take my truck?

[3 hrs later]

H: Your truck was out of gas, the tires needed air and it needed an oil change.

M: You don’t say? Huh, weird. *sips wine*

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If the people in your car don’t match the stick figures on your rear window, I’ll report your vehicle stolen.

@iamspacegirl

Definitely just forgot the word ‘menu’ and asked for a ‘map of the food’.

@Lisabug74

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@KielyHealey

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@thetits

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ME: I like you, I think you’re cute

MY CRUSH: oh um

ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that

@trevso_electric

Gum commercials exaggerate your odds of kissing a complete stranger in public by 780,000,000%

@kelkulus

The Indian version of “How I Met Your Mother”is just a single episode called “I Met Her At Our Wedding”.