@Desert_Musings

Had to go to grocery store this morning. Out of habit, I put on lipstick. Had to take it off to put on my mask because the last thing I need is to look like the Joker on top everything else going wrong in this world.

You Might Also Like

@UnicornSyrup

I put my phone in “airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. It just fell and now my screen is cracked.

Worst. Transformer. Ever .

@better_off_dad

All you need is love.

and groceries.
and health insurance.
and heat.
and whatnot.

@pdxjohnny99

The coolest thing about the last Hobbit movie was knowing it was the last Hobbit movie.

@3sunzzz

You can learn a lot when your children start moving out. For example, you may go upstairs and learn that you no longer own a couch.

@LostFelicia

If I don’t stop stress-eating, I will be the elephant in the room.

@UncleBob56

Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone.

Me: Will it make my dinner?

D: No but-

M: Good talk.

@BunAndLeggings

6yo: *non stop talking*

Me: *tells 6yo to go read*

6yo: *comes out of room every 2 min to tell me about the book*

@TheMichaelRock

An anonymous internet person said they were going to block me and then blocked me. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.