@bobvulfov

Haha no i do not care what people think of me. Why what have u heard tell me everything right now

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@AGStr8upNinja

She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.

@MorticiaKate

All I need is to hear those 3 special words

“Want a sandwich?”

@Gorilla_Turd

Jesus, I didn’t mean my cheese wheel when I said you take the wheel.

@FredTaming

pillsbury doughdad: [turning oven down] put a dang sweater on if you’re so cold, you naked moron

@rad_milk

i always get gatorade and gasoline confused. my car is real good at sports and im dead

@GroovyTasia

My dog and I have the same schedule:

6 AM: Wake up
7 AM: Eat breakfast
8 AM: Use the bathroom on our neighbor’s lawn
9 AM: Play
10 AM: Nap

@prettysadmostly

i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes
date: what about me?
Hawaiian themed bathroom fire

@MegsHAUSTED

Guys, please recycle. We wanna leave a better world for Betty White when we’re gone.