Don’t tell me you’re into the Halloween spirit unless you go into a haunted house willing to die.
haha sucks for women that they have to sit down to poop
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I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80’s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.
I’m sorry, I’m just in a really weird place right now I say from a lazy Susan inside a friend’s pantry
I celebrate Friday the 13th in the traditional way… by going into the woods and murdering every sexy teenager I can find.
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“Say hello to my knitted friend!”
My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.
My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children.