@mommajessiec: Halfway through my stand-up routine I started getting heckled. The crowd shouted such insults as “This sucks” and “Stop it” and “Why are you doing this to us, Mom?”
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@3sunzzz: [searching for a new church] Me: *calls* Yes, does your church offer complimentary WiFi, red wine and light appetizers? Church: *click*
@lilgapeach32: I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused.