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@AimeeHelene1: *hangs out at graveyard*
I like older men.
@rikilindhome: Hear me out: A printer but it works.
@mommajessiec: [comes home from a day away]
Kids: Guess what we did today?!?
Me: Played monopoly, ate pizza, painted, cut paper, had ice cream.
Kids: How’d you know?!?
Me: *looking at everything out* Lucky guess
@sarcasticmommy4: Before you have kids, practice yelling "GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!" & see if it's right for you.
@usermcuserface: Mary Lincoln: we're going to that play tonight, and that's final!
Abe Lincoln: ugh... how can this day get any worse?
@WhitfordBradley: And Jesus said "If the lepers cannot afford healthcare, let them suffer, for poverty is a character issue."