@PFTompkins: Happening now: The young lady sitting next to me on the plane sneezed & I said “Bless you” & she thanked me then she immediately sneezed again & I said “You only get one” and oh she did NOT laugh
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@LackOfShame: Women, when you say: "We should move into a better house." A man hears: "My plan is to force you to work till the day you die."
@Chhapiness: As a parent it’s a very tough decision to choose between a private school and a public school. I still haven’t made up my mind if I should expose my kids to cocaine or crack
@brianbowman73: I decided to jog in place at a stoplight and got some really strange looks. I should've just stayed in the car.