It is officially too cold for Canadians to pretend liking cold weather is part of our cultural identity
Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own.
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Priest: The power of Christ compels you! I cast you out! Unclean spirit!
Me: Wait, stop! Some of these are load-bearing demons.
Do you like vampires?
Jehovah’s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
cops at DUI checkpoints should just check to see if u texted ur ex at some point throughout the night
Obama sure is waiting until the last minute to take everyone’s guns.
WIFE: Will you get coffee and a bagel for 6?
ME: He’s too young for coffee
W: Coffee’s for me
M: Where’s the comma?
If your wife says “take out the trash” do not reply with “you cooked it you take it out.”