@HallpassCanada: Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can't spot the douche at work today, then it's probably you.
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@jazmasta: Dear iPhone, I have typed "haha" like a million times, but yet you continually give me "haga", "hsha", "gaga", "hahss", "hahs" I hate you
@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.
@rudy_mustang: Me: the eagles won last night Co worker: oh did you watch the game Me: *covered in blood and scratches* what game