@tat2dsoccermom: Hardcore Ramen: drink boiling water, swallow dried noodle block, snort flavor packet.
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@captainkalvis: me: would you ever hit someone with a car for $50 Date: oh dear god no Me: *counting my money* what about $57?
@Jtweeters: If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian.
@robdelaney: If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say "Friend, you're wearing sweatpants." They might not know.
@HousewifeOfHell: Two certain individuals today proclaimed me the worst mom ever because I took them to the dentist. I FORCED THEM TO HAVE TEETH. Like, OMG.