@rubyetc: #have a #great #PancakeDay
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@GringoBrulee: HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir.
@MelvinofYork: I asked my wife why she was pissed at me and she said "YOU KNOW WHY" and now I'm just keeping my mouth shut until I can narrow it down
@KentWGraham: My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son’s Little League games ever since he learned he’s in his second year of college.