All I wanna do is
[gun shot noise]
[cash register noise]
Fix this broken synthesizer
Have you tried cracking open a cold book with the boys
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If Apple ever made a car they would probably have oddly sized/shaped cup holders just so people would buy their custom drink containers.
Today folks! #Eclipse #SCIENCE
wife *comes running out of the bedroom* Kill it! Kill it!
me *runs in*
wife: Did you get it!?
me [has no idea wtf she’s talking about] Yep
The Passion of the Christ 2: Jesus in Space
He conquered the sins of the world, but can he conquer the sins of the galaxy?
“My place is a mess” – Every girl, ever…. “Well in that case, I’m not coming in” – No guy, ever
[The year was 2050]
“Grandpa why are you sitting outside”
“There was a time when this was illegal you know”
I’m 5’3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality….disorder.
[in a burning building]
Johnny Depp: Use my scarves to climb down
Me: WHERE DID YOU COME F..
JD: [transforms into a raven and flies away]