Don’t take drugs… for granted.
Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them.
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Him: your so funny, smart & beautiful how are you still single
I saw a UFO flying over my house this morning but my camera has too many pixels and clarity so I didn’t capture it.
The Hobbit 4:
Bilbo’s relatives auction off his stuff
Bilbo puts on his ring
One by one, his relatives die under mysterious circumstances
All these late nights solving solved crimes on forensic files is aging me.
My family thinks short term memory loss is adorable when a fish has it in Finding Dory, but when I have it, “Mommy has a drinking problem”.
I’m taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can’t lose them there, I’ll try the mall again.
3-year-old: I need a scarf.
Me: No, you don’t.
3: To tie up bad guys.
She needs a scarf.
If you think the USA can shoot down nuclear missiles fired by North Korea just remember we couldn’t even have lights at the Super Bowl.