@SICKOFWOLVES

HE DRINKS A WHISKEY DRINK

HE DRINKS A VODKA DRINK

HE DRINKS A LAGER DRINK

HE DRINKS A CIDER DRINK

HE SINGS THE SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF THE GOOD TIMES

HE TELLS HIS DOCTOR THAT HE ONLY DRINKS LIKE MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK HONESTLY ITS JUST KIND OF A SOCIAL THING

OHHHHHHHH

You Might Also Like

@YoungFunE

Bought the ‘Sounds of the Rainforest’ cd, not as relaxing as I hoped. The 1st half was birds chirping, rest was chainsaws and bulldozers

@Sickayduh

“911 what’s your emergency?”

– I’ve been catfished by a dozen men

“We’re on our way”

– Gonna arrest them?

“Gonna shut off your internet”

@shopkins776

Karma Chameleon is my favorite song about lizards getting what’s coming to them

@TheBoydP

My dog just watched me take my contacts out and I think she may need therapy now.

@YSylon

When a ninja is born, the doctor is like, “Um, where’s your baby?”

@dshack8

Although no words have been spoken per se, I’m pretty sure the dude in the next stall just challenged me to a beat-boxing contest.

@Cheeseboy22

My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it’s the lightning that will kill him.

@Tommytoughstuff

[Meeting]
*Gestures to pie chart* “Now as you can see this chart is not nearly as delicious as it sounds.”