@six_2_and_even: He had salt and pepper hair. There was also a hint of oregano. And bay leaves. His entire head was a bottle of Italian seasoning.
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@click4amanda: Why do they write PIZZA all over the box???? what else could possibly be in there???
@HenpeckedHal: My son calls them "please cars" because any time I speed past a cop he hears me mutter "please don't pull me over!"
@spinereader: why does half of Twitter think they're going to lead a communist uprising when they're too scared to order pizza on the phone