MONSTER: What is my name?
“We’ll call you…Frankenstein”
MONSTER: But that is your name
“Yeah, people won’t make a big deal of it”
He said it’s canoodle night later, and I thought great, I love lasagna.
You Might Also Like
Him: “Can we have a Doritos themed wedding?” Me: “no.” Him: “well, what kind of chips would you prefer?”
Based on the amount of animal hair, clinging to your t-shirt, I’m going to pass on your homemade cookies, thank you.
Buzz: hey Neil where do cows come from?
Neil: I dunno where
Buzz: the moooon haha
Neil: uh Houston we have a problem
If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally
Curiosity doesn’t kill anything, stupidity does.
To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.
When my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been
Wife: I want to see some snow.
Me: You might get to see 3 to 4 inches tonight.
Wife: I’d rather see snow.