@AcrimoniousClwn: Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I'd own this place.
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@sonictyrant: HORSE: *walks up to the bar* ME [THE BARTENDER] : So, *raises an eyebrow* why the long face ? HORSE: Oh *removes Nic Cage mask* Sorry
@artsofdrawing: *During math test* My answer: 28. Answer choices: 17, 19, 26, 45. Me: "well 26 is closer to 28, so that must be the answer."