@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who didn’t really want you to take a bite of the cookie he offered you
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@roxiqt: According to legend, if you see a spider on Halloween, it's actually the spirit of a loved one watching over you. So I guess if you see a ghost on Halloween, it's actually a spider. Confusing but good information to have on hand.
@coolgrandma98: when people leave my 15 yr old sister on read she sends them voice memos of her Screaming
@pleatedjeans: [job interview for garbageman] interviewer: I like your enthusiasm, you're hired Three raccoons in trench coat: [ecstatic chittering]