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@seanscrap: Hello, Atheist Ghostbusters?
I have a ghost in my bathroom.
No, you don’t.
Oh, right. Thanks so much!
That’s why we’re here.
@ShortSleeveSuit: ME: *grasping wife’s hand* omg he’s going to say his first words
WIFE: c’mon buddy you can do it
WAITER: can i get you two started with something to drink?
MY WIFE AND ME [excitedly]: d’awwwww