@AssOnHat: HER: [parallel parking] i’m so bad at this
HIM: you should probably get tested
HER: lol it’s not that bad
HIM: i have chlamydia
![HER: [parallel parking] i’m so bad at this
HIM: you should probably get tested
HER: lol it’s not that bad
HIM: i have chlamydia](/cache/139689.jpg)
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@catstronomical: Me: [has never relaxed once in my entire life] I should get a hammock
@bobvulfov: GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use
@zachreinert03: I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him
@phaggots: [texting my girlfriend] wyd? "Just finished my homework" Cool, Send a pic (; ? *gf sends a nude* Ewww wtf!! i meant of your homework!
@HatfieldAnne: Eggs come out of the carton left to right, buddy. Not all willy-nilly like some crazy person who hates America.
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