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@millercycle: her: you’re gonna end up alone living by yourself
me: oh thank god
@chuuew: Still finding Easter eggs hidden around the house which is especially scary considering I live alone.
@RCKruseKontrol: [Jesus Feeding of the 4,999)
ME: *gets back in line wearing fake mustache*
@noog: Snakes are terrifying because they can't trip and fall over shit. No creature should possess such power.
@funflaps: BATMAN: I was lost as a child and raised by bats
ANTMAN: I was lost as a child and raised by ants
SUPERMAN: I was lost as a child and raised by soup
@_Water_Baby: *at casino*
When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both.
It will leave him speechless.