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@millercycle: her: you’re gonna end up alone living by yourself
me: oh thank god
@TheBoydP: I try not to be loud in the office restroom stall unless my boss is in the restroom, because then I want to prove I'm not just goofing off.
@TheMichaelRock: It’s funny how people rage in traffic on the way to work like they’ll be any happier once they get there.
@ComicBookNOW: WHO DID THIS?
@ShittyComedian: Coworker: See you next year. Hahaha
Me: Not if you die tonight. Hahaha
@Shen_the_Bird: me: [getting down on one knee] i've wanted to ask you since we met
me: [rolling into a ball] do you like my impression of a grape