COP: Did you know you were speeding?
ME: I didn’t even know I was driving
Hey guys, what’s the name of that movie where Michael Cera plays a socially awkward teenager?
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Now playing: With Myself.
Planning to edit the three Hobbit movies into one watchable movie. Should I use Instagram or Vine?
Summer vacation would probably be a little more relaxing if these kids were vacationing somewhere else.
I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.
*hands you a marijuana*
“This one’s called Air Bud. It’ll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever.”
Pretty woman, the kind that don’t eat meat
Pretty woman, the kind that likes to hug trees
Ohoh what can I do? She’s making me eat vegan food
me: wanna do something fun?
her: already have plans
me: *watching her wax her legs and pluck her eyebrows* our idea of fun is very different
You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate?
Yeah, she’s staying at my house this week.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that’s your business.