Lots of hockey tweets, sadly I’m from Alabama where a bunch of white guys chasing something black with sticks has a whole different meaning.
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maybe the white peopel who are scared of immigrants are only scared b/c they kno what white peopel did when they first immigrated to america
My ex has made me dinner..
*gives a bit to the dog first*
Me: mmm daddy, all up in there
Priest: it’s “our father who art in heaven”
This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear… I’m just fat.
– the first cow ever milked
My coworkers think I’m always busy but I’m really just trying to remember my password.
Dodo, a bird, an extinct bird
Ray, a pancake from the sea
May, a fly that lives one day
Fox, tells lies on my TV
Ahh, birds chirping outside my window.
*lets the cat out*
*goes back to sleep*