@just1fool: Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!
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@BuckyIsotope: WIFE: how’s dinner ME: these mashed potatoes are dank WIFE: is that bad or good ME: … WIFE: … ME: I don’t know
@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
@SortaBad: Waterskiing is fun. I wish there were more sports where machines just dragged you around