I see you are eating seafood at a midwest Chinese buffet. I, too, like to live dangerously.
Hi guys! Nick is very handsome and an amazing cook. Are there any nice girls interested inMOM GET OFF MY TWITTER YOU’RE RUINING EVERYTHING
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Ever see a plane flying toward the moon & it looks like it’s gonna hit it & then it does & the oceans boil & wolves take over?
I’d … I’d rather not.
Everyone makes mistakes
The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
I say “Hey man, I got your back.” He thanks me until he collapses from being spineless. I give his back to an infant. “Baby got back.” I say
Just made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
“Food expiration dates are lies. It’s all about control.” My knife breaks as I cut into a plate of milk. “I’m saving this for later.”
Me: I don’t know how to ride a horse
Whiskey: Yes you do
ME: When Princess Leia kissed Luke, did you know they were brother and sister?
GEORGE LUCAS: *laying in bed* How did you even get in here?