But your honor, she used mild cheddar cheese to make nachos
Hi, I would like to file a complaint against everything.
You Might Also Like
Don’t go hunting down relationships or looking for love. Let it find you. Naturally.
You know, like a jogger finding a body on the trails.
Paying the internet $4.99 to take an IQ test is you failing the test.
tattoo artist: but what if they change prices?
me: just draw it
[later watching TV]
commercial: the taco bell 5 dollar box is now just 4 bucks!
There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up.
2017: It can’t get worse than this
DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment
If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me.
Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
“I put on pants for nothing”
– my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled.
Someone set up her Twitter account.
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.