Hi, I’m Suki. And I just turned the volume down because it was getting too cold in my car.

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Nothing like riding a motorcycle without a helmet. The wind blowing through your hair… the warm pavement on your face…


Everyone needs that one friend that will promise to redraw your chalk outline to make you look skinnier.


Hey dad, the hospital called, patients
are trying to rest, could you please turn
down your television.


Is it “butt” naked or “buck” naked? Either way, this dentist appointment is making me very uncomfortable.


Is it racist that I’ve been talking to this one white chick on my street for months now & just realized she’s actually 5 white chicks?…


me: wow, first you drew me a bath, now breakfast?

wife: you deserve this

me: and the toaster is steady on the edge of the tub like that?

wife: we’ll find out


Just got a paper cut on my webbing so you guys go ahead without me. It’s been fun.


me: why do i feel terrible
brain: coffee is not a food group
brain: eat a vegetable
brain: sleep
me: guess we’ll never know
brain: oh my god