@pizza_dragon: Hi kids I'm Keanu Reeves here to tell you that speed is never cool unless you're a professional SWAT member on a bus that's about to blow up
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@momjeansplease: Nana to 3: “I love you! Who loves ya?!” 3 to Nana: “Nana!” Nana to 3: “That’s right! Who loves Nana?” 3 to Nana: “Nobody!!!” Never been more impressed in my life.
@HeyoShellz: Dude tried to pick me up at the gym but I was like bro I'm dying just let me lay here
@uberpaki: My fellow Canadians, Complain about the heat just *once* and it will get taken away from us. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things