Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:

1. Stay together forever
2. Break up

No pressure.

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The founder of Adidas went by the nickname Adi, because his real name – Adolf – has become rather unpopular.


My running form could be described as “drunk woman slowly being chased by no one”


my grandma just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i was like “no” and she was like “well i went to a random funeral because i was bored and that’s how i met your grandfather” ??????


I never make the same mistake twice. I do it five to six times, just to be sure.


And then Satan whispered, hey let’s put the alphabet in math


I have a plan. I bring him home ,but don’t sleep with him.
Long story short he pays for the taxi.


Boss: Why weren’t you at work last week?
Me: Why are you living in the past?