There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:
1. Stay together forever
2. Break up
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The founder of Adidas went by the nickname Adi, because his real name – Adolf – has become rather unpopular.
My running form could be described as “drunk woman slowly being chased by no one”
my grandma just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i was like “no” and she was like “well i went to a random funeral because i was bored and that’s how i met your grandfather” ??????
I never make the same mistake twice. I do it five to six times, just to be sure.
This whiskey tastes like I should tell you what your problem is.
And then Satan whispered, hey let’s put the alphabet in math
I have a plan. I bring him home ,but don’t sleep with him.
Long story short he pays for the taxi.
I poured some root beer in a square glass and now it’s just beer.
Boss: Why weren’t you at work last week?
Me: Why are you living in the past?