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@DumbConfessions: Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club.
Who wants a cold one?
@audipenny: Sorry I was asleep when you texted me and just woke up when we ran into each other just now
@internetluke: Jesus: saw that facebook event "last supper"... looks good but whys it called the "last supper" ?
Judas: oh.. No reason really
@Browtweaten: Friend: How's the new job?
Me: Can't complain
Friend: What's with the beeping collar?
Me: *starting to cry* Can't complain
cop: what happened here?
boss: they attacked when he tried to inflate one of them
me inside enclosure: [with final breath] babloon
@AmericanGent69: When a person says a book is so good they can't put it down, but yet, are not holding that book.
This is why I have trust issues.