Hi we’re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can’t ever find our dog.

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Bird seed is amazing. I sprinkled some on the garden and when I checked 10 minutes later lots of new little birds had already sprung up.


I like my coffee like I like my women.

Not banging my friends.


A shoutout to the jackass that stole my ATM card. I hope you enjoy your $3.62.


All day: I’m so tired I could cry

12:30 am: Not only should I write a musical, I should do it right now


Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty.


My Shakespeare brings all the boys to the yard
And they’re like
We’re gonna kick your ass fancy boy


[business trip]
ME: i forgot my charger
COWORKER: you should invest in a spare to keep in your bag
ME: i forgot all 4 of my chargers


Me: *braids girl’s hair*
Girl: *turns around, terrified*
Me: The movie was boring me…
*leans back in seat*
*eats popcorn*


Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying ‘don’t worry baby, I’ll catch you if you fall’ makes him run for a really really long time