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@bonesher: him: can i be honest?
me: not from what i’ve seen.
@PaulyPeligroso: They call Japan the "Land of the Rising Sun". Is that why they look like they're squinting all the time?
@slimmy_shady: If E.T. is making your bicycle fly through the sky, why do you still have to pedal?
@_wangwe: Never ask a shepherd how many sheep he owns, I don't think he'd know, he probably falls asleep every time he takes inventory.
@InternetHippo: me: i’m not that old
also me: ah yes, i remember when you took a picture & were like “nice, cant wait to see how it turned out in 2 months”
@BeardSpice: My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie.