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@junejuly12: Him: I really like your car
H: What is it?
@ladybroseph: *drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*
@mattkoff: I really showed that Rubik's Cube who's unemployed.
@Tmoney68: I'm not saying I'm getting fat, but my dirty talk in bed is mostly just recipes for pies.
@pixelatedboat: Office morale has increased noticeably since we put a tarp over Dave's body
@Tmoney68: A man played Justin Bieber to force an attacking bear to run off. He was treated for his injuries, then arrested for cruelty to animals.