Him: Maybe you should start counting your calories
Me: Maybe you should start counting your days
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Motherhood is the perfect combination of heart swelling pride and “I didn’t sign up for this.”
When you’re watching Scooby-Doo and the scary part comes on.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
Daisy: how are you
You don’t fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will.
I hate when ppl put group pics on tinder like how am I supposed to know which one’s Bret
Her: You don’t want me to get fat do you?
occupation: the family disappointment