@kidnapped_jesus

Him: Maybe you should start counting your calories

Me: Maybe you should start counting your days

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@Darlainky

Motherhood is the perfect combination of heart swelling pride and “I didn’t sign up for this.”

@cluedont

You don’t fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will.

@SueChainzz

I hate when ppl put group pics on tinder like how am I supposed to know which one’s Bret