They irony of being hit by a Dodge.
Him: So tell me something about yourself.
Me: If you spell it backwards it’s flesruoy.
Me: If you add the letter p to it you can spell profusely.
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Cause of death: Zumba
Homosexuality was still classified as an illness in Sweden in 1979. Swedes protested by calling in sick to work saying they felt gay.
A Morning After pill but for over eating.
Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private.
I ate 32 bananas today & made $725.
I have diarrhea.
We operate by one simple rule: if you smell it and you think it’s gone bad, I believe you. Further testing (by me) is unnecessary.
Oh, the other kind of staff meeting.
If you haven’t used your fingers to “expand” a picture in a Magazine today, well then you’re not me.
*quits cold turkey*
*looks for ’emotionally available’ turkey*