That heroic moment where one of your chips break off in the dip and you send another one into save it.
Him: Wtf is wrong with you?
*remembers when I sold my soul to Satan for more Oreos
Me: I’m just really tired.
You Might Also Like
I’m from Texas, where “Let me call you right back” means enjoy the rest of your day.
I’m so antisocial, i won’t even meet my potential.
I’m not superstitious, I’m just kindastitious!!!
*leaves one gummy bear in the packet*
i’m letting you live so you can go back to your king and tell him to send the rest of his troops
*gives gf a small gift wrapped box*
“aww what’s this, youre so sweet”
“wait, is this my toothbrush?”
YOU DONT LIVE HERE KAREN
G: whats this
Noah proudly: a swing set
G: u built a park. I asked for an ark
N: a what?
G: a boat
N: say boat then
What I was supposed to teach my kid before kindergarten:
What I actually taught her:
1) the dance to Thriller
1.Not leaving my room
2.Not leaving the house
3.Missing someone’s birthday party
My childhood punishments have become my adult hobbies.