Welcome to adulthood.
You get mad when they rearrange your grocery store now.
Him: You’re pretty obnoxious. You know that?
Me: I’m sorry. All I heard was pretty.
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me: wait why is the T silent
What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again.
Nobody warned me that my child could possibly develop an attitude similar to mine.
“y2k” making us anxious
“k” making us anxious
I love the Olympics #OpeningCeremony. It reminds me of that time I had to run to the creek when my sleeve caught on fire.
would love to see a prequel to Titanic where we see Jack completely unable to climb onto a floating pool toy and we all go “ahh makes sense”
My aunt unfriended me on Facebook so I can guarantee you that I will bring it up and ruin Thanksgiving this year.
*posts “Glitter is my favorite color”*
*sits back to smirk while 347 strangers tell me glitter isn’t a color*
*takes personality test*