@CoopSoSarc: Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
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@TheAlexNevil: *walks away from an explosion in slow motion *walks right into another explosion in slow motion
@ibid78: "Something's wrong. He's never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
@WilliamAder: If I'm ever captured as a spy, all they'd have to do to get me to talk is put my house slipper on the wrong foot.
@Dutch_50: Doctor: You have acute alcoholism. Me: Thanks, but let me tell you it's not very cute in the morning.