@TheBoydP: *holds in gut when stepping on a scale*
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@apollilaire: i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: "tell me the meaning of life". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box
@PhuckinCody: [first date] HER: i'm really into astronomy ME: [revealing my secret stash of Milky Ways] you don't say
@mommywhines: It's so adorable when girls are scared to eat in front of a guy. I'll eat both your plates. Probably even the guy.