@novicefather: "Homie don't fleek doe," I say to a group of teenagers, hoping it means something.
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@InternetHippo: Now that everyone is against Facebook I'm smugly telling everyone that I deleted mine 5 years ago because I saw this coming and not b/c I had no friends
@ZombieProblms: Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool.
@Parkerlawyer: I pan fried chicken tonight. On another completely unrelated note: the firemen in my town are gorgeoussssss.