Starbucks job interview:
“What’s your name?”
“Spell that please”
“L A R I S S A”
“When can you start?”
Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate
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Me: Hey, just got back from a 3 hour walk.
Her: But it’s 20 below zero outside.
Me: I had mitts.
Her: Are you crazy?
Coworker:I’ll take care if it.
You’re gonna take care of it. You just don’t know it yet.
I woke up with a horse’s head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse’s body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess.
My son recovered from his illness while I was filling out all the paperwork in the waiting room.
Of course size matters. No one likes a small pizza.
There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned.
[sees a sheep] oh my goodness that towel is still alive
*pokes sex life with a stick
Does anyone know any herbal remedies for worthlessness?