Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate

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Starbucks job interview:

“What’s your name?”


“Spell that please”

“L A R I S S A”

“When can you start?”


Me: Hey, just got back from a 3 hour walk.

Her: But it’s 20 below zero outside.

Me: I had mitts.

Her: Are you crazy?

Me: No…Canadian.


Coworker:I’ll take care if it.


You’re gonna take care of it. You just don’t know it yet.


I woke up with a horse’s head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse’s body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess.


My son recovered from his illness while I was filling out all the paperwork in the waiting room.


There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned.