Baby Soldier: Ma’am. Your husband is MIA.
Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands*
Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.
horse: [driving in a car past people in a field] PEOPLE!
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…Stay Free Maxi-pads…
…When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining.
[Texting with husband]
Him: I hate when you correct me and make feel like an idiot. Your lucky I love you so much
Me: awwww *you’re
I always dream of being a millionaire
like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.
Note to Self: In future interviews, don’t say “Safe in your strong arms” when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
Being a mother is truly a gift. My son surprised me by stopping in to visit yesterday. Last night when I went to watch TV, I no longer had one.
I think it’s only called hoarding when you’re poor.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a dog that plays ping pong
me: do you want to play some ps4?
me: no we only have the playstation
“removed the top of my desk for cleaning. cat did not understand”