Megaman is such a hard game! I’ve beaten Ice Man & Fire man but this guy just shoots me before I can even move. How do I beat Zimmer Man?
How Am I Doing? I’ll Tell You How I’m Doing Volumes: 1-8
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April Fool’s Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared.
In the bathroom stall and written on the bottom of the door, ” Beware of Limbo Dancers” I wanted to star it and re-stall it one door over.
Americans pay for gym memberships and for people to mow their lawns.
Donald Trump was born when someone put a pinkie ring in a bag of Cheetos and left it in a lightning storm.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe?”
me: what would you like to stare at for twenty minutes and then throw away?
kids: whatever’s the most difficult to make
Husband: You want to have sex?
Me: We probably shouldn’t because I’m coughing.
Husband: Ewww. I didn’t say I wanted to kiss.
[on the train]
Conductor: Ticket please
Me: *hands it over*
C: Lady this is a speeding ticket
M: *sighs* That’s why I’m on the train