@with_a_ph23: How am I supposed to “act my age” when I’ve never been this age before now?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"
@sarcasticmommy4: How to get your kids to stop coming with you to Target: Son: Mom, can you buy this for me? Me: I'm not your Mom. Son: Mom, stop. Me: Let's go find your Mom. Son: MOM, STOP! Me: SECURITY!
@foodandwhining: People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box.
@novicefather: [grocery store with 2yo] Cashier: your son is so cute. What do you want to have next? Me: a vasectomy