No more excuses…
….next year I’m getting that exorcism.
“How can it be global warming,” pondered @realDonaldTrump, “if it’s cold outside? Cold is the opposite of warm. Science is hard.”
You Might Also Like
*brings knife to gunfight*
*knife used to cut pizza*
*pizza served & differences resolved*
*last slice up for grabs & gunfight ensues*
A co-worker said to me, “Could you be any more annoying?” So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
This peach mimosa tastes like I’ll be worrying about losing my job later.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
We were just four regular guys who became legends thanks to karoke night and The Spice Girls
How my 7 year old plays board games:
Rolls a 6.
Counts to 6.
Moves his piece wherever he wants.
Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time.
Google Glass, for everyone who’s ever thought, “I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE”
“exorcise” and “exercise” sound alike because they’re both the work of the Devil