*leaves a “beautiful eyes” comment on all your leg selfies
HOW COME YOU NEVER HEAR THUNDER AROUND LIGHTNING BUGS?
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Now playing: With Myself.
“Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs.
On reflection this would have been a real time saver.
If you’re reading this, call me?
Only take relationship advice from people who have really healthy relationships. So, no one
Food was bad, cabins were dirty, everyone but me was gruesomely killed. Liked the paddle boats. 1/2 star. -Yelp review of Camp Crystal Lake
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
This sink looks like my kids’ toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher.
Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
Review of Black Holes: Zero Stars
Alcoholism is a wonderful way to turn today’s problems into tomorrow’s even bigger problems.